Conundra

Contrary to expectations of me, I do enjoy Christmas. Mostly I love having a lie in. I have an addiction to my bed but only from the hours of 2am until well, anytime before midday really. I used to be very religious and the high point of Christmas would be Mass either at midnight, or when the children were small, dawn. It's spiritually uplifting to join in a community and celebrate some common belief together. The community I belonged to was very supportive and friendly and did embody all that Christianity should be about-that is coming together to help and support each other, the wider community and those in the world who are in need regardless of nationality or belief. It was a community that respected it's members and others and rejoiced in differences. It existed both within the framework of the Catholic Church and apart as it was led by a freethinking and challenging priest. unfortunately he challenged the bishop once too often and was removed from his parish and without a meeting place our community disintegrated. Which leads me on to contemplation of churches. Without our church and our leader we disbanded as a community and whenever I bump into former parishioners we all say the same thing. We have yet to find somewhere to go, we haven't found a new spiritual home and we all feel...abandoned and lost. I've tried other Churches and they are not the same- they don't seem to care as much. The focus is not on community and support and intellectual exploration of faith and the spiritual life, but on following rules and speaking the right words in the right order, on being led and following. So Sundays have been pretty empty for the past 6 years but on Christmas day we do try to make an effort and drive for half an hour to a retreat centre run by the most amazingly whacky nuns for a service that resembles in some part the community we lost.


The other reason I like Christmas is my boys come home and we have a group of friends at our table and we have something different to eat. Last year it was grouse and this year it will be wild boar with a vegetarian option of a chestnut and broccoli filo pie. And you never know, it may even snow for the first time ever on this salty windy island on an island.